Misc

Dealing with Mom’s Dementia

Every day is getting harder and harder emotionally and physically dealing with my mother’s Alzheimer’s Disease. She no longer knows who I am. EVER! She and I had a very close bond and it hurts so much that it is gone forever. Being the only child living close to her, we spent alot of time together. She doesn’t understand much of what is said to her anymore and we, unfortunately, can’t understand her. She can’t sequence any tasks and needs help with all her activities of daily living, such as eating, brushing her teeth and going to the bathroom. She gets agitated frequently in the late afternoon. Fortunately she doesn’t become physically aggressive but any change in the daily routine causes her to become more confused and restless. It is therefore very hard to have any company over when we know that it will only make things worse. My dad is having trouble dealing personally with her decline but he always treats her with loving caring and kindness. He talks frequently of the past and frequently looks at old pictures of her. He loves her so much and she is frequently unable to return that love now. She doesn’t always know who he is! After 62 years, it’s heartbreaking to watch. He takes his frustrations out on me, which is ok I guess but I don’t like it much. I don’t know how long I will be able to care for her here at home. Hopefully after I have my knees done, it will be easier physically for me. I know I need to get away more often, even if  just for coffee, but the help is just not there. I feel so guilty because I shouldn’t have any negative feelings about caring for them but I do. She did so much for me all my life and I can’t seem to return the favor enough. But, what is enough?

My very first entry!

Today I had the great pleasure of babysitting for my granddaughter, Adele.  At 3 months old today, she smiles frequently, clearly follows her mommy around the room, makes all sorts of cooing noises, has found her hands and is holding her head up strongly. Best of all, she now has her days and nights straight, letting mommy and daddy get a little more sleep. Having her in my life is just so much fun!

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